Its the Polite Thing To Do
by sherlollymouse
Summary: John and Molly pull a prank on Sherlock when John discovers it took his friend three years to open Molly's Christmas present.


**John and Molly pull a prank on Sherlock when he takes 3 yrs to open her Christmas gift.**

—**-**

**Louise Brealy publicly said the second gift was what Molly had gotten Sherlock for Christmas. I like to think this is what happened.**

When Sherlock returned, he found Mrs. Hudson had taken and stored a few things, though not many, in Johns old bedroom. One day, out of boredom and curiosity, he decided to go sifting through the things that were, obviously, unimportant, given that he hadn't missed them. Amongst the dust and random nicknacks he hadn't even remembered ever owning, he found a familiar wrapped in red paper and tied with the neatest of bows and he cursed at himself. Molly's gift. He had never opened Mollys gift. It had been nearly three years. Granted, he missed two of them, but that was far from the point. A friend he held in such high regard had bought him a gift and all but told him she loved him. He hadn't even done much worthy of her love, but there it was. Three x's, three little kisses marking the tag. With a heavy sigh, he grabbed the box and took it down stairs.

The gift seemed imposing somehow. Maybe it was the length of time he'd neglected it, maybe it was the other name on the tag… but he made tea first.

He made tea and stared at it.

He drank tea and stared at it.

He, then, just stared at it….before getting another cup.

After two more cups and a cigarette's worth of time staring at the damn thing, he finally peeled at the paper. Then there was the box of course… which, for some reason, required being stared at the length of another cigarette and cup of tea. At the same time, though, and he didn't really drink the entire cup of tea, just most of it. Carefully, he lifted the lid and exclaimed an "Oh" at the long dark fabric scarf neatly folded within.

Taking it out and examining it, he was impressed. She'd obviously bought it at the same place all his other ties were bought. Smiling, he picked up the box, prepared to discard it, but, he noticed, a mass of bright green, silky fabric lay at the bottom of the box. Sort of folded, but not properly. It was just kind of thrown in the bottom as neatly as possible. He took up the fabric and began to investigate. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what this ungodly strip of fabric was meant to be. Well, until he found how to hold it up right. His response to this discovery was a chorus of 'Oh's' in different intonations.

What on earth was Molly thinking?

Did he seem like the type of guy to wear something like this?

Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Sherlock practically threw the abomination behind him.

"Nothing!" He said without speaking or knowing exactly who was at the door.

"What was that?" John chuckled and Sherlock sighed, tossing it at him.

"Part of Molly's gift."

"What gift?"

"From… that Christmas." The doctor looked down and realized the wrapping paper was still laid out and the box was set aside.

"Its been three years, Sherlock."

"Well, I was gone for two of them." John scolded him a bit with his facial expressions and then turned to the gift with a laugh.

"She got you a mankini, huh?"

"Is that what they're called? I thought they were just called god awful." Being ever so helpful and actually liking Molly as a person, John got an idea. An absolutely lovely idea to help her get the revenge she may not even know she deserved for having to wait so long for Sherlock Holmes to open a gift she so thoughtfully picked out for him.

"It is going to be incredibly uncomfortable when you wear it."

"What do you mean 'wear it'? I'm not wearing that!"

"Sherlock, its the polite thing to do. Do you have any idea how many terrible jumpers I've had to wear throughout the years because Harry, my aunt or mother picked them out?"

"All your jumpers were terrible." John smiled, more cemented in his plan.

"And just think, those were the ones I chose to wear."

"Just when, exactly, am I suppose to wear this?"

The argument continued and escalated, slightly. In the end, John stood his ground and a reluctant, irritated Sherlock, sulked off to his room to put them on instead of his normal undergarments.

"You're sure this is the 'polite' thing to do?"

"Yes, we all do it and we all hate it. You are to only say good things about that the scarf, too, right?"

"Of course. I like the scarf, John."

The rest of the cab ride was void of the man-childs incessant bitching. John had to admit, he admired his friends abilities… and that included the ability pretend he wasn't wearing an oversized g-string. When they finally reached their destination, Sherlock got out more carefully then usual, though, and John had to suppress a laugh as he paid the fare. For the first time in a while, he had absolutely no qualms about it.

"Stop it, John." Sherlock hissed at his friend in a whisper as they walked down the halls to pathology.

"Stop what?"

"You're thinking, stop it." John rolled his eyes as he opened the door for his friend who practically ran up the unsuspecting pathologist. "Hello, Molly." He held his neck high, hoping she might recognize the years old gift.

"Oh, hello. Do you need something?"

"I need to use the lab."

"Something wrong?" She noted his irritated and defeated tone.

"No, Molly, its fine." Just like always, he removed his coat and scarf as if neither held any significance and set up the microscope. Standing aside, an eager John leaned over to Molly.

"The scarf."

"What?" She whispered back.

"The scarf." This didn't go unnoticed by the detective, who loudly cleared his throat.

"Is that the scarf I got you for Christmas, years ago?" He looked up from the equipment, surprised she sounded a bit irritated.

"You know Sherlock, Molly. He got a bit distracted. Just opened it today. Better late than never." John defended his ignorant friend. "Right, Molly." He stood. "I'm very sorry, but you'll be happy to know, that… umm… I'm wearing the rest of your gift as well."

"What?" Her nose crinkled a bit and she stepped back as Sherlock opened his shirt revealing a bright green strap. "Oh!" Behind the detective, a jovial doctor was encouraging her not to laugh and to smile and she obliged, happily. "Do you find it comfortable? You've bulked up a bit since then. Does it fit well?"

"Well…" John had moved behind Molly and cleared his throat as Sherlock twisted his face; about to tell the truth. "Yes, thank you for noticing and you wouldn't believe how snugly it fits." The smile he gave her was obviously fake, but she smiled back.

"May I see it?" She inquired, politely.

"You want to see it?"

"Thats why you wore it, didn't you? So, I could see it."

"Yes, yes, that was exactly the point." John chimed in, leaning over the table.

"Ok." The reply was slow, but he reached for his buttons and began disrobing.

"Good, maybe a bunch of us can go to the beach this summer on holiday." Molly cheerfully pulled at a strap when he had finished stripping down.

"Maybe."

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." John added.

"It definitely won't take up a lot of space in the luggage." Sherlock offered.

"Thats exactly what I was thinking." Molly added. "Oh, I have a list of festivals and things we can go to. They'll be so many photo ops… my facebook and twitter will explode!"

"Facebook! Right." With that panicked response from his friend, John simply couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing. "What? What?" Sherlock shot looks back and forth to the medical professionals, who were keeled over in the midsts of their laughing fits. Kicking himself for having taken so long, he began to deduce his situation. "I didn't have to wear this ungodly contraption did I?" Molly could only shake her head. "It was a gag gift."

"Sort of. I bought it when I was quite cross with you for something."

"And now you can't even remember what that was."

"Of course not, Sherlock. You're an arsehole. It could have been anything." With another sigh, he grabbed his shirt.

"No, no, Sherlock. Take the straps down first." Molly helped him. "It'll be more comfortable to wear no underwear at all then to wear this a minute more." When he was finished putting his clothing back on, he waltzed over to the rubbish bin. "Hey, no!" Molly grabbed his hand. "Joke or not, it was a gift. Don't pitch it, please." There was a long pause and Sherlock inhaled deeply before responding. "Fine, Molly. I'll keep it."

And he did.


End file.
